I Feel Like the Worst Person…

Sometimes it’s easier to let go.

Photo by Wesley Mc Lachlan on Unsplash

I feel like the worst person in the world. He died right in front of my eyes, releasing his last breath from his little body. His arms and legs had been flailing as I stood by helplessly for minutes. What was I to do? I knew there was no hope for him. He lay on his back, in the corner, out of sight of the conventional eye. But I, with my strong awareness of anything out of the usual or out of order, noticed. I noticed it immediately and tried to keep the eyes of the young ones in the room from realizing what was going on. It would have been harrowing, to say the least. It would have produced nightmares. It would have produced questions that I could not have answered.

I mean, what does one answer when questions of the sort arise? The circle of life is bleak sounding and unappreciated to young and awe-filled eyes and minds. Just as it is to the older and more experienced. Normal people don’t get over things like this easily. For some, it may take days or months, for some, years. This kind of thing is not for the lighthearted.

But things happen and life goes on. Many of us prefer to forget it and go on to happier things.

I shrug my shoulders and shake my head. I don’t know which side of this I am on yet.